Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
