you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
