I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
