Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
