seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
