Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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