you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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