Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
