Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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