Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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