I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
