Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
