Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
