He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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