There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
