I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
