Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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