Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
