Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i think my cat just said my name.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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