haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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