I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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