Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
