my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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