dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
