Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
