no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
