She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
