I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
