her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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