You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
