Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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