just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
