woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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