Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
