I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
