He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
