I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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