i just google imaged poop.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
