Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
