All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I puked a lego.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
and she was petting her beer can
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
