I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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