He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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