I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
