This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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