your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
