I want to have your abortion
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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