talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
