We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
