should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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