absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have demons in me.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
